Nathan and Jayden #6

Nathan is my 6 year old son and Jayden is my 4 year old granddaughter.
I am just journaling about them and the things they say and do.

I kept Jayden for the night on Nathan's birthday. I had to work the next morning and planned to drop Jayden off at preschool on my way. She was complaining about her tummy not feeling good all morning. I tried sending her to the bathroom and feeding her. She would play for awhile then complain about her tummy again. She has a sensitive tummy so I didn't get too concerned. We were getting in the car to leave and she told me I should get her a bowl in case she throws up. I'm the grown up and I know it's not necessary. I'm still not taking this too seriously. On the way, she was sure she had to throw up. I pulled over and took her out of the car. False alarm. No throwing up. Now I'm thinking I should be taking her a little more seriously. She's in the back chattering as Jayden does, then she was quiet. Nathan says, "Mommy, Jayden's throwing up." She was. Over and over. She was in her booster chair, her legs held together, being so careful to throw up into her lap. I pulled over in a church parking lot and went to her door. She is sitting there with a lap full of vomit and her concern was the car. She says in her sweetest little voice, "Now what do I do?" I unbuckled her and picked her up like a little vomit bucket. She didn't get a drop on my car. From now on, if she tells me to bring a bowl, I'm bringing a bowl. God, I adore that little girl.
----------------------------------------------------------------

I was thinking about the day Ryan came to tell me his girlfriend was pregnant. It didn't feel the way I imagined something like that would feel. As his mom, I had so many hopes for him that I was sure a baby would put an end to and it would make me so sad and scared. But that's not how it worked. I've written before that I had dreams for two nights before he told me. In both of them, I was having another baby and it was a girl.

Every feeling I thought I would have didn't happen when he told me. It felt more like, here we are, let's move forward from here.

We debated the gender until the sonogram. I knew what those dreams meant and I knew it was a girl.

I look at Jayden and I can't imagine life without her.

-----------------------------------------------

Me: I love you ten million times.
Nathan: Ten million? That seems low.

----------------------------------------------

Me: You have a smart mouth.
Nathan: A smart mouth means I'm smart.

---------------------------------------------
Me: No kidding?
Nathan: No sh
Me: You almost said a bad word.
Nathan: No, I didn't.
Me: Yes you did. I heard you.
Nathan: What bad word?
Me: No, shit.
Nathan: I didn't almost say that. I almost said what the fuck.

--------------------------------------------
We were in Walmart for the previous conversation. Nathan is usually shy and quiet in public. It never fails that we are in a store the rare times he ever uses a loud voice and it's always to announce he has to poop. That conversation took place in his 'I have to poop' voice. I happened to be looking directly at the innocent face, the big blue eyes, and the missing front teeth when he loudly and clearly said, "I almost said what the fuck."

I had to turn my head because I started to laugh. That face and those words just didn't fit together.

I was remembering when Ryan was that young. I would have freaked out to hear him say those words. It would have been Tobasco sauce in the mouth, two days of lectures, grounded to his room, and sleepless nights sure my baby was headed to a life of drugs and crime. Some might think that after having five kids and a stepdaughter and 27 years of raising them, I am getting a little lax. I'm not. I've just figured out that none of it is the end of the world.

---------------------------------------------------

And my favorite
Grandma, I yuv you
Mommy, I lusz you

Nathan and Jayden #5

Nathan is my 6 year old son and Jayden is my 4 year old granddaughter.
I am just journaling about them and the things they say and do.


Jerry is my 49 year old husband - sometimes one of the kids. He had set up Nathans little pitching machine and was pitching plastic baseballs to Nathan - in the living room - which is mostly windows. I gave him 'the look' and asked rhetorically, WHAT are you doing? Jerry's expression was priceless, like a little boy caught in the cookie jar. His reply, "we already hit the window and it didn't break."

---------------------------------------------
Nathan: It's not fun to play without Jayden but I won't worry about that if you don't want me to.

---------------------------------------------
Nathan: I want your bedroom.
Me: You can have it after I die
Nathan (hopefully): When will you die?

---------------------------------------------
Nathan is proud that he can work the remote by himself. He can't read so he looks for his favorites by the first letter. T for Transformers and S for Spiderman.
I walked in the family room to see him sitting on the couch with the remote, all wide eyed. I followed his eyes up to the television. Oh, My God!
He was trying to find XMen. He found the X.
I need to learn how to put the block code in.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Nathan just had his sixth birthday. He woke up that morning disappointed. I guess he had high expectations for what six means.
Nathan: How come I don't feel like I'm six. I still feel like I'm five but I know I'm six.

----------------------------------------------------------------

And my favorite
Grandma, I yuv you
Mommy, I lusz you

The Mid-Life Crisis Corvette

I got stuck behind the slow guy on the road today. It was a 65 mph zone. Granted, that's up to interpretation. I interpret the 55 mph sign as I can reasonably expect to be able to go 65 without getting a ticket.

This guy was doing 35 mph. We all get behind them and I would have never given him another thought once I got around him, but he was driving a Corvette. I just assume that Corvette drivers interpret speed limits more on my side of the posted numbers.

When I was finally able to make my way around him, I did as I always do in these situations, I looked to see who the jerk was that was putting the wear on my brake pads. There were two old, beer bellied, bald guys in the car. They were actually in my age range, but old is relative and when we're talking speed and Corvettes, a duck is a duck.

That isn't an exception. There are two types of people that drive Corvettes. Hot blond women and men going through their mid-life crisis. I figure the hot, blond women drive the car because they're hot and the car is hot, and that the mid-life crisis men drive the car to live out their unfulfilled fantasy of going really, really fast. There lies why he has gotten a second and third thought from me.

The only other reason the old, beer-bellied, bald man might be driving a Corvette is to attract hot, blond women. The problem is, I saw him. I say the money's spent, he might as well drive fast.

Kids - Free to a Good Home (Semi-good ok)

When I was a teenager, my mom told me that everything I did to her was going to come back on me twice. I laughed her off all the way until I had my first teenager. I called her one day and asked her to take it back. She said no! Her mother said it to her and her grandmother said it to her mother and she wouldn't take it back. I hung up the phone, went to my teenage son, and told him whatever he does to me will come back on him twice.

I asked my mom recently how old they are when you stop worrying about them. She told me she didn't know but she would let me know when it happened. Oh, great!

When my oldest four were little, I counted once and averaged out to see how many times I heard the word mommy in a day. It averaged out to about once every four or five minutes during waking hours. There were times that I would hear that word and just want to cry for mercy. I would ask them to call me Joe. Pleeasse, just call me Joe. Anything but Mommy. I would get so exhausted that I wanted to quit. No more. Can't do it.

Then I would pick myself up and get on with it. The thing about having kids, as much as they wear you down, it's little things, lots of little things that will light you up and make it all worth it.

My sister-in-law sent me an email once. It said, now that I have teenagers, I understand why animals eat their young. By the time I was trying to get through their teenage years, I had a stepdaughter in the mix. It was five teenagers right in a row. Kind of like going in the boxing ring, taking one blow after another, bloodied and broken, just praying for the knock out.
It's only love that got me through that. God, I must have loved them. There were plenty of times that I just wanted to throw in the towel. KO'd.

There were a lot of little victories through it to keep me going and the reward was I got to feel a tremendous sense of pride that I stuck it out, I never gave up, and to see that I had any part of the incredible human beings they are. Wow!

They are all adults now. Some are married, some have kids or are trying to have kids. Some are military, some are in college or have graduated college.

I should me home free. I'm NOT! They are adults with adult decisions and adult consequences. I am their mom. I try to give them suggestions that, of course, they still don't listen to. My oldest is 27 now. He is going through his own thing and I don't like his choices. There was a point that I felt he was making a decision that was going to hurt a lot more people than just him and he was doing it for the wrong reasons. The decision didn't bother me. It was his reasons for it. I hadn't played the Mommy card since he became an adult but I whipped that baby out and put it on the table. I didn't ask him or suggest to him what he should do. I told him what he will do. That's it, no ifs, ands, buts or excuses.

I am now trying to muddle my way through being the mom of adults. I don't know how. I'm, again, learning as I go. Today, I want to quit. I don't want to play anymore. I'm taking my ball and I'm going home.

I'll love them through another day and this too shall pass.

I have a five year old now. Going through five teenagers and still having another baby is a testament to my insanity. No sane person does that. I tell my kids that by the time he's a teenager, I'll be senile and he'll be their problem. That's my revenge.

Nathan and Jayden #4

Nathan is my 5 year old son and Jayden is my 4 year old granddaughter.
I am just journaling about them and the things they say and do.

I am Jayden's Grandma. Her maternal grandmother is Amma.

Nathan: God is in everything
Jayden: Yea, but he lives at my Amma's house. I saw him.
Nathan (very excited): You did? What does he look like?
Jayden: I didn't really see him.

-----------------------------------------------

Nathan was eating his dinner and told us, "I'm eating God."

----------------------------------------------

Lisa is my 21 year old daughter. She and Nathan were having a staring contest.
Lisa: You blinked. I won.
Nathan: I didn't blink. God blinked.

----------------------------------------------

Nathan wants the Transformer movie. It isn't being restocked because the new one is coming out. We have been looking all over for it.
Nathan: I saw the Transformer movie at the movie store by Sav Mart.
Me: Was it for rent or to buy?
Nathan (giving me the 'you are a dumb mom' look that I deserved): How am I supposed to know? You know I can't read.

-----------------------------------------
Nathan: I don't want to be six. Five is fun.

_____________________________

And My Favorite
Grandma, I yuv you
Mommy, I lusz you