So, You Want to Date My Daughter

I used to get really irked when men gave me the cat calls or the ass stare down while I had my kids in tow. Do they want men doing that to their mother? Think boys, think. Not only was it rude, but they were blowing the whole Virgin Mary persona I had worked so hard to create.

As much as that bothered me, it was nothing in comparison to how irked I got when I realized those weren't for me anymore, but for my daughters. Again, the persona thing. I had worked hard to create their pure innocence in my mind.

Boys will be boys and girls will be girls but the one that really gets me is the 50+ men staring my girls down. Now, WHAT are you gentlemen (used loosely) thinking? I was in the car one day when one of those gentlemen in a car next to us was drooling at my daughter, who was about 19 at the time. I looked at him and the only word that could come to my mind was, 'huh? See her, see you, huh? WHAT do you, a used up old man have to offer my smart, beautiful, full of life daughter? It makes me sick to know what you are thinking about her. She is a kid and you are a pedophile.

Ok, I get that I am Mom. I view my daughters in this world differently than others do.

I have been there, though. I have heard the reason these older men (or leches, you pick) think they are a catch to a young girl. Because they are experienced in looovveee making. Yea, baby, they can show you what it's like to have a man, a real man, make looovvve to you.

Get over yourself. Just because your penis acts like a propeller pushing you through life doesn't mean it has that same effect on women. How often does that work for you? What do you think that young girl is thinking when you tell her that? I'll tell you what I was thinking... 'Ewwwww, you want me to have sex with you? Garosss!!!'

If you were a man, a real man, you would have half way figured out what women are about. We are emotional beings. The greatest love making most of us have ever experienced has been because we felt LOVE. Hence, the term Love Making. Knock, knock, are you in there? Get it?

So, 'gentlemen', if you would like to date my daughters, I don't mind if, first, you don't mind me dismembering you...slooowwwlllyyyy.....with a dull blade. Until then, put your tongue in your mouth and take a cold shower. It ain't happening.