Jerry Is Bored

Jerry is getting bored. I have to admit, I thought he may never want to come home. He goes to work, gets off early in the afternoon, does his laundry on Sun. mornings, and he owns the rest of his days. Judi and Don cook dinner for him every night. Good dinners, too. He has a big bed all to himself and doesn't have to fight for the blankets. No honey do's, no kids saying play with me, Dad. There is nothing that needs fixing, no yard to landscape. Many of his Saturdays are on the boat with Don, fishing and exploring the hidden coves of Lake Mead. For awhile he was even stopping at the bar everyday and having a few beers after work. He gets to do whatever he wants without having to think about anyone else. He's getting bored. I have had those brief times when there was nobody but me to think about. There was the time when the kids were little that I wanted to go to Epcot Center by myself. Nobody to answer to. See whatever I wanted at the pace I wanted. It was boring. I wanted someone to share it with. The first couple of years after our divorce, Bill and I had joint custody. The first time they were at Bill's and I had the place to myself, it was amazing. I had to empty the garbage because it smelled bad, not because it was full. The paper towels and toilet paper lasted forever. I would put something down and it would be there when I came back. By the second time they went back to Bill's, I was bored with it. I missed them and all the responsibility that came with them. It served it's purpose and was good for the kids for awhile but, fortunately for me, Bill and I both agreed that it had run it's course and joint physical custody wasn't the best for them anymore. There have been a few nights since Jerry's been gone that Sona was staying with a friend and Nathan was staying with Grandma or one of the kids. I get so excited at having the house to myself and nobody else to be responsible for. It ends up being a let down. I'm so used to having so much going on around me, I don't know what to do with myself without it. When we feel bogged down with responsibility, we want to run from it. But there is a sense of accomplishment that comes with the responsibility. Without it, life is kind of empty. I get why he's getting bored.